My Boyfriend can only get off by talking really dirty to me. I’m sick and tired of it. It’s gotten worse, and is now to the point where it just wears on my nerves, as he is always having to be so filthy, vulgar and disgusting, just to get off. I think I want out of the relationship, but I really do love him. What do I do?
I hear ya. This could actually be a very deep situation with many psychological ramifications, so I would not be so cruel as to offer you any false hope by lying to you. You may be able to help bring him around, or you may never be able to do so. It’s about a 50-50 chance that could go either way.
First of all, it is of the utmost importance that you fully realize that this most likely has nothing at all to do with you, or your personal self worth, and is far more likely to be a matter of previous pubescent programming, dating back to his first orgasm or sexually awakening experience.
The Female Orgasms
Our brains are much like a computers. We start off with a completely empty slate, and as we begin our sexual journey through life, we begin to make impressions or imprints on our consciousness or memory banks. So, if he was whacking-off to a Playboy centerfold, while he, or someone else that was with him, or even just a random voice in the background, was cussing profusely at precise moment he achieved orgasm, then that data is often permanently programmed in the back of the subconscious mind, and the profane potty talk actually takes on a significance, as most humans, naturally subconsciously, continue to endlessly seek out the ability to replicate and re-live the first moment of orgasm again and again, throughout life.
There’s an old saying, “You can never go home again!” It’s a nice, conventional “Hallmark” way of saying, no matter how hard you try, you can never go back to that first orgasm again, but most people just can’t accept the psychological disappointment of this truth and let it go, moving on to experiencing even newer, greater and better things in life. So he may well be trapped in the past, desperately looking to re-awaken it again. You need to calmly take him by the hand and let him know that you have something to offer him that is even better than that dirty old past that is haunting him forever.
Truthfully, it’s a crapshoot at best! Heads you win, tails you lose! Good Luck!