O.K. guys, so you want to know the deep, dark secrets to performing the ultimate oral on your lady. Great, I am more than willing to share what I know, and over the years I have been told on more than one occasion that I am a cunning linguist! So here we go.
Rule number one. It’s a lot more about attitude and intent, than it is about merely memorizing some prescribed techniques and methods, so the first thing that we need to do is make sure that you have given yourself a good “Check-up from the neck up!” This is all about HER, and that is not the normal way men tend to view sex. You need to let go of your kinks, desires, wants and drives, and focus exclusively on what makes her happy.
Cunnilingus is all about intent. It’s about you, completely tuned in to her every breath, twitch, sound, sigh and movement. Your conscious laser beamed perceptions constantly taking in, processing, and responding to her every signal. This is sadly why most men are so desperately bad at it, and why a lot of women at least, temporarily experiment with lesbianism. Women just want a fair lick at life, like anyone else. If all the men in their lives refuse to even go downtown, or simply take the express way while heading there, she will be very susceptible to thoroughly enjoying the first face that will “Dive and Drive” her directly to the very gates of Heaven itself.
So whether that helpful face is yours, making you the hero to women around the globe, or some drunk and giddy girlfriend, experimenting half out of her mind and clothes, that’s for you to decide. However, I implore you. Gents, we are losing a lot of prime pussy to the other side, because they are willing to lick them up one side and down the other until it seems clear to the poor gal that if she is ever going to get properly serviced, she is destined to spend her life as a carpet licker, or clam cleaner, and it’s your own damn fault that these chick for passing on penis. Join the Master’s Brigade and help us to bring the “Choice Coochie” back to the wonderful world of well-behaved wieners.
So let us begin: “Eating pussy is one of the greatest joys in the entire universe!!!” I repeat, “Eating pussy is one of the greatest joys in the entire universe!!!” If you do not already believe this with all your heart, then you have some work to do. You see, it’s all part of what makes the “HOLE” thing work. The chick has to truly feel comfortable enough to get the initial juices flowing and to eventually relax and allow her inner stirrings to drive her to that eventual, gigantic orgasm that will prove that you are a modern day knight in shinning armor, who has CUM to put a purpose in her once meaningless, drab and dreary erotic existence.
So, if you do not already actually believe this basic and simple fact, with all your heart, soul, mind, spirit and strength, then you must learn to fake it till you make it, and eventually you truly will believe it. Eating pussy is like wine tasting. There are veritably so many delectable dishes, tantalizing tastes, and beautiful bouquets, that like the experienced wine taster, who has developed that acquired and well trained appreciation for the wonders all things woman, he is a trusted professional in which the lady can put her full trust and confidence. With that assurance, she now can “Let loose and flow with the juice!” Completely assured that you not only willingly accept her particular “Spice And Seasoning” but are actually enamored with it, you will begin to experience things with her that you once thought were only possible in those high quality, expensive import porno films that we usually aren’t willing to shell out the extra bucks in order to see.
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and that may well be true, because I do tend to become rather fond of some of the ladies that have had the pleasure to ingesting over the years. One thing is for sure, when you are willing to go down on a woman and do it right, making her cum like a water spout, trust me, you have made a friend for life.
Competent cunnilingus makes a chick feel completely accepted, admired, respected, sexy, and let’s not forget that it makes her cum like crazy, which gets you invited “Back to the Sack” again and again! Some women actually prefer getting oral to intercourse, and for most, it is certainly the easiest way to cum with a partner still involved in the action. You need to remember that most men don’t ever bother to worry about whether or not the woman achieves orgasm, and so it is something that chicks normally don’t experience in the company of another, at least not a guy. Sadly, “The Big O” is usually something they tend to accomplish on their own, after Mr. Caveman has rolled off of her and fallen asleep, or she goes home, unsatisfied and plays with her “Pocket-Rocket!”
Also the ability to lick pussy is the great equalizer in life. I have talked to thousands of women over the years, and they all strongly declare that they would much rather have a man with a 3 inch penis who can lick them right into Nirvana, than a stud with a 9 inch cock, who doesn’t know how, or doesn’t care how to pleasure his mate. Face it, when you “Face It” you are officially appreciated as a fabulous lover. That’s a reputation worth working for, wouldn’t you agree? So you need to know what you are doing.
Alright, always act as if it is the greatest tasting thing on Earth, even if, at times it isn’t. By the way if it isn’t you can quickly clean things up down there without her ever being the wiser, by simply spitting into your hand and massage her vagina and clitoris as part of pre-play. If that is not enough to solve the problem, then suggest that the two of you go for a swim or take a shower together to get in the mood and offer her a nice shower massage, where you can be sure to clean all the necessary areas that need attention.
Just don’t make it obvious to her what the problem is, because the odds are very good that when she first prepared for your date together, everything was spic and span clean and fresh. Remember, women have a lot of activity going on down there, so there’s no reason to risk hurting her feelings, or make anything obvious, as the one who will lose out in the end is YOU!
So she may be already a bit self-conscious and catch on quick to the hint, and jump immediately at the chance to make sure everything down there is just “Hunky Dory.” Just never let on that there is a “Skank Stank,” or she will close off in totally embarrassed self-conscious concern, and the chances of success with her, ever, are greatly diminished to say the very least.
Remember, most women are very well aware of how much men almost seem to belligerently expect blow-jobs these days, and yet, when it comes to their bodies, dudes can"t wait to get their dick into her wet little pussy, but are often quite reluctant to put their “Mouth where there Money is!”
No Hands Allowed
Keep in mind, that there is nothing more exciting to a woman than knowing that her man finds her absolutely delicious and drinks her all up like a fine champagne. So make a big dramatic play of it. Tell her how amazingly sexy she smells and tastes, lick your finger, slurp-up her “Ambrosian Juices,” lick up every drop off of her vaginal nectar. Make a major scene of just how outrageously awesome she tastes and looks. Act as if you are a starving man in a desert. Sigh, moan, gloat, breath it all in, absorb it, get lost in it. She will love it, and invite you back any time you have the gumption or interest!
O.k., so you have her relaxed and comfortable and you have been playfully leading up to the magical moment, so when you finally decide it’s time to do the deed, here’s what you do. It’s gotta be a calm, perfectly professionally played-out, a smooth as silk Transition. Start in the general vaginal area with light kisses and caresses. Work your way up to the point where you are opening her up, and playing more at the entrance of her vagina and occasionally brushing across her clitoris. It is a slow, seductive dance.
Generally, if this is your first few times going down on her, “Keep It Simple, Simon!” Don’t jump into any extravagant positions that will create any possible additional tension or anxiety. Remember, total calm relaxation is what you are trying to achieve, so that she can open up and eventually explode in all her glory. Don’t add anything else to worry about. Just lay her on her back, with her legs spread far enough to allow you adequate access.
Warning: A lot of men try to kill two birds with one stone, and get their immediate pay-off by suggesting “69.” Do not do make this fatal mistake. She needs to kick back and fully relax, not worry about pleasing you while you gag her with your dick stuck down her throat, as she gasps for breath. That’s going to back-fire on you in a big way, so don’t even think of making this mistake, or this project will end the moment you cum and roll over, leaving her unsatisfied, again, like 99.9% of the other guys who have used her and left her high and dry, blowing in the wind. Don’t do it!
Cunnilingus is a great opportunity to really show off your sexual prowess and make her cum like mad. It provides you complete and unencumbered access to the 2 most powerful sexual stimulation centers on the female body, the “Clit” or clitoris and the “Mons Pubis” otherwise known as the “Mons Veneris,” or “Mount of Venus.”
The Clitoris: In most women this is basically “IT,” the big enchilada, the whole ball of wax, the premiere champion of her entire orgasmic reality in life. Located directly at the top of her vaginal opening, above the apex created by the coming together of her outer labia (The floppy looking pussy lips) and directly under the “Clitoral Hood” which makes it appear to be a small knob of pink flesh, almost a miniature penile button, hidden under the fleshy covering of the hood, which looks remarkable just like a hood, and therefore the name.
Congratulations, you are now one of approximately 7.3% men who actually now know how and where to find a woman’s clitoris. Sadly, less than half of that small number actually know what to do with it, once they actually stumble across it. So again, as it seems I say so very often to you all, regarding most things sexual, Please, Start out SLOWLY AND EASILY!
Not only do women vary amongst themselves in the amount of direct contact and stimulus they prefer on their clitoris, but each individual woman will vary her preferences throughout the session, so that at some points, just broadly stroking the clit with the flat of your tongue will send her flying into the air as she complains that it’s too much for her. Then as she is just about to orgasm, she may be screaming hysterically at you, as she pulls the hair out of your poor skull, to lick it harder and faster, harder and faster!!!!!
If you ever experience that moment, and I hope you do, you are just one or two moments away from being a officially declared a “Sex God” for all eternity. So enjoy and be GLAD! Always pay careful attention to her responses to each of your moves and react appropriately, keeping in mind that this time out, it’s all about HER!
The vagina is a marvelously adaptive sexual organ, and is amazingly designed as the perfect “One Size Fits All” happy place for men of all shapes and sizes. Theoretically, a dude 9 inches long with 5 inch of girth, can madly plow the babe for an entire night of power pumping and the next day a guy with 3 inches in length and 2 inches in girth will struggle to cram that cock all the way in there and feel like he’s king of the castle.
The point being, when you first start cunnilingus on a woman, she may feel slightly uncomfortable if you push a single finger into her vaginal canal, but as she gets more and more turned on, you may find that she can easily and willingly accept three, four, or even five fingers, perhaps an entire fist in there and be pleased as punch to take it all in, so watch for her responses, and do whatever you can to continually raise that level or erotic inducement.
Most women love the additional excitement of insertion, once they are fully stimulated, and working their way towards an orgasm. So I highly suggested that you trim and file your fingernails before you attempt this process, or you may find her getting right to the edge, and suddenly dropping off because you scratched her.
The additional vaginal stimulation will definitely help to move her forward to that anticipated moment of Truth, “Her” moment of BLISS, so I would strongly recommend, that you eventually acquire a wide range selection of sex toys, as some women start off only liking a couple of inches tightly working away in her “Honey Pot,” but eventually she could start craving and begging for something considerably larger, perhaps a small telephone pole! Like a good Boy Scout, Always “Be Prepared!”
O.k., as time goes on, you eventually focus almost all of your attention directly on her clit. Try consistent, alternating variations of licking and flicking it, sucking and massaging it with your tongue and lips. Get your fingers in there to pull the labia to each side and expose the little pearl, getting the tip of your tongue up under that hood and going to town like there’s no tomorrow. One maneuver that I’ve discovered almost all women love, once they are fully aroused, is to use your lips to “Give Head” to her clit, the same way that a chick does it for you, only her organ is considerably smaller than yours, or at least we hope that’s the case. She will go wild and the next 10 blowjobs you receive from this happy lady will be the best you’ve ever had, guaranteed!
This may be all that she needs to blow her top and cum like a gusher, but if she seems to be holding back a little bit, I have discovered that you can confidently start with some basic and simple, “Anal Play,” added into the situation, and usually before long, she is off in “Orgasm City!” Remember, always use moist lubed fingers, take it slow, and don’t get overly excited or frustrated, or she will pick up on the tension and you are officially sunk.
I’ve found that most women who claim they absolutely detest and hate anal sex, suddenly have a miraculous change of attitude, once you’re licking away at her “Clitty” with your tongue, a couple of gyrating fingers in her pussy and now one wiggling slowly and gently in her ass. This should be enough to put her over the edge for good!
Caution: Never put the finger that you had in her butt, back into any contact with her cootch, as that can lead to some serious infections. It’s best if you decide long ahead of time, which hand will be the pussy hand and which hand will eventually be the ass hand. No problem at all, using both paws for pussy and then later moving one to the ass, but once that hand has contacted anything anally, it can never go back to the pussy again, till it has been thoroughly cleansed and decontaminated. Be a considerate lover, there’s a lot of biological activity going on down between her legs, and you need to “Respect and Protect it!”
Babes that have never dreamed of experimenting with woman, or tasting pussy, suddenly seem remarkably open, during, and /or, immediately following their orgasm, to taste their own juices. I’ve yet to figure out why that is, it just simply “IS!”
Some women will ejaculate a clear, milky white liquid from the vagina during orgasm. Don’t worry, you didn’t break her and she isn’t pissing on you. Women actually are biologically capable of a liquid discharge at the time of orgasm, just like men, only most men are such terrible lovers, that most women never experience that fact until they have been with a master who truly knows what he is doing and how to please his mate. O.K. enough talk, go get ya some of that “Nectar of the Gods” and make me proud!